Day 5 - It's a bloody miracle

Well it is! There's no other way to describe it.

They slice your stomach open, peel you apart, move your giblets out of the way and hey presto there's your spine!! They scrape out your bad disc, jack up the vertebrae, cut a groove in the bone top and bottom and slide in the magic new M6-L disc. then they sew you up and in the blink of an eye you're good as new!!

Well ok that is a massive over simplification but it's not far off the mark.

And then less than 24 hours later you are out of bed and walking.

Like I said, a bloody miracle, and that in a nutshell is ADR.

Now the disc in your back is a bit like an inflatable Jammie Dodger biscuit that's been dunked very slightly in a nice cup of tea.  Ok not a particularly elegant analogy I'll grant you, but stay with me here. 

Most of the time these lovely biscuits get squished together but just bounce back to their original shape. But occasionally they squish out their jam (that would be a slipped disc or a prolapsed disc) and sometimes they get a bit old and crumbly and start to get thinner and thinner (that would be Degenerative Disc Disease or DDD). 

Now I'm lucky, yes lucky, because I only had one dodgy disc. After that fateful trip to Portugal when I got back home they did an MRI scan and found that I had Degenerative Disc Disease (DDD) in my L4-L5 disc (that's the disc just above the top of your bum) and it had a bit of a prolapse for good measure. Over the last 6 years my DDD has slowly got worse until after my most recent scan they told me that it was now reaching a critical point. If I wanted to have ADR I needed to get my ass in gear and get it done. If I didn't have it done then my next option would be a fusion, and that's a whole different flavour of biscuit.

So I made the decision. Bring on the ADR.

Now have you seen that Ridley Scott classic film Alien?

If you have then I can guarantee the scene that sticks most in your memory will be that moment when the alien bursts out of John Hurt's chest. That'll teach you for eating chinese straight after having an alien stuck to your face.

 But going into my operation I couldn't get that image out of my head, not the perfect mental preparation.

When the time finally arrived I took my camera into the operating theatre and asked if they would mind taking a few photos for me. The anaesthetist told me that in 25 years this was the first time anyone had asked this....does that make me really weird?!!

Looking at the photos afterwards you know, I wasn't so far away from Alien after all. See what you think...

So here is John Hurt, err no that would be me, ready for the big scene. As you can see the alien is still attached to my face.

This is the M6-L disc that they're going to put into my spine. Not as tasty as a Jammie Dodger but will last for 50 years in the biscuit tin and still be good as new.

And this is the M6 toolbox...or as I like to think of it a 21st Century Meccano set for Billionaires.

And here he is, yes it's the star of the show, Mister David Harrison!!!

 No they're not drilling for oil, this is all to make sure that the disc is inserted correctly...

Ok, these next ones aren't for the squeamish. This is my alien nightmare come alive...

Did somebody say they'd like a close up? Well it would be rude not to oblige...

All done? Alien removed? Then let's stitch him back up...

Almost there...

And there you have it.

An ADR operation John Hurt stylee.

And all done in less than two hours.

Like I said it's a bloody miracle. Particular emphasis on the bloody.