Day 14 - Tis the Season to be Jolly!

Well that's easy for you to say, but if you're recovering from ADR surgery then it's the season to be stiff and sore and swollen. And just a little bit constipated. Sorry probably a bit too much information. Hope you weren't munching on a mince pie.

It's 2 weeks since surgery and I'm feeling ok. Not jolly, just ok. How can you possibly be jolly when your recuperation is plagued with the constant regurgitation of 'classic' Christmas songs?

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not bah humbug or a grumpy old git when it comes to Xmas at all. I get teary eyed at the mere mention of Noel's Christmas Presents, and our hall has been decked with holly (well kind of..) for a week already. But the songs do wind me up.

I grew up in probably the 'golden age' of Christmas songs. Slade, Wizzard, Greg Lake, Mud, John and Yoko, BandAid, and Wham, to just name a few...but the problem with that is it means I've had over 30 Christmases to hear these crackers (sorry couldn't resist)...over and over and over and over. By which time you are ready to kill more than just the turkey.

"John you look a fucking twat..." said Yoko, looking for somewhere to hide.

For my daughters, still in their teens , they can probably only remember about 10 years of Christmases, so these songs are still relatively fresh to them.

But where are the new 'classics'? Where are the songs that they'll grow up with and then become acutely irritated to hear in a shopping centre in early October?

Now I know what you're going to say...the Pogues and Kirsty MacColl. No, that was released in 1987 for god's sake!! And Kirsty has been dead for 11 years, RIP.

Hang on do I hear a shout of Mariah Carey at the back? Well the sugary aural gymnastics of 'All I want for Christmas' by the Careymeister is already 17 years old. It's true! I swear!

So do we really think that 'Under the Mistletoe' by the Bieber will still be playing 10 years from now? In some illicit South American torture chamber perhaps, but in Westfield? I doubt it.

So is X Factor to blame for the demise of the Christmas single? Well of course in the last few years the coveted Christmas number one has sadly come to be synonymous with the ITV show.

So does this year's X Factor offering have a cheeky festive slant? Hmm, not sure that Damien Rice's Cannonball really ticks that box..even sung by those little muffins Pick and MIx (please shoot me if I hear them described as 'muffins'  one more time) . Still I'm not one to prejudge, so let's take a look...


Stones taught me to fly
Love, it taught me to lie
Life, it taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball

Oh dear! What a golden missed opportunity! All Damien had to do was switch the word Cannonball to Snowball then he might have been in with a half a chance. He might live to regret that error.

Even Coldplay gave it a go last year with their valiant (but crap) effort Christmas Lights. But they were clearly too embarrassed to play it live at the X Factor last night. Good work with the wristbands though guys.

But coming in as the underdog but fast moving into contention for the top spot this year, is 'Wherever You Are' by the Military Wives. It's got a lot going for it...a fine bunch of ladies led by a speccy young choir master mixed with a nice dash of sentimentality. Be honest though, whatever the outcome it'll be forgotten by February.

Ultimately there is a positive to all of this though. Being at home this year means that I get to do all of my Christmas shopping on line, and to be there when the delivery man arrives.

But all I want for Christmas is a new back. Could be a song in that.