6 weeks - It's a Milestone Folks!

Yes sir! We got there! 6 weeks and counting. 

I feel like I should have a couple of trumpeters standing behind me announcing the arrival of this day. 

And not only was it my 6 week milestone, but also the check up with my hero David Harrison.  But more of that later.

Firstly I think its time to reflect on where I've come from. Just over 6 weeks ago I was scared, no actually I lie, I was shit scared. Despite everything I still wasn't sure I was doing the right thing, but there was no going back. I'd finally come to the conclusion that I couldn't face a lifetime of pain, frustration, embarrassment, compromise and disappointment. 


Life is for living, not for enduring. I needed to start living again, I needed to be rebuilt.

Yes I was a man barely alive... but then I met David Harrison and he had a plan.

“Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world’s first bionic man. He will be that man. Better than he was before. Better. Stronger. Faster. And he will not need a cushion any more.” 

Yes, 6 weeks on I am the Bionic Man. I am Robocop, I am the Terminator, I am part man, part machine.

Ha! I can hear you giggling at me up the back of the class. I can feel you pinging elastic bands at my head and firing rolled up bits of wet paper out of your peashooter (ok I admit we are talking a class circa 1978). You want proof? Well I'll give you proof. I give you my bionic back.

Isn't it fucking awesome. Glowing inside me like a beacon of hope. I love it...just a little bit mind, but I do love it. I never thought I could feel such affection for a small metal object. The only thing that came close to this was Blakeys.

For those of you who never experienced the thrill of Blakeys they were crescent shaped bits of metal that you stuck on the heels of your shoes back in the day. No, really. When you walked down the road you felt like the proverbial dogs bollocks. It was a bit like wearing tap dancing shoes, but with no effeminate connotations. With Blakeys you were hard. No question. 

People could hear you coming a mile away which was actually pretty useful. We used to gather at the local chippy and you knew when the lads that you wanted to avoid were approaching because you'd hear them 5 minutes before they arrived. It was a bit like the sound of the ants on Tom and Jerry.  I remember we used to put Blakeys all over our shoes and then squat behind one of the older boy's mopeds and get them to drag us along the road to create sparks. Ah...I miss those simple, but dangerous pleasures.

Imagine my delight to find literally just 30 seconds ago that Blakeys still exist...www.blakeys-segs.co.uk. I urge you to treat yourself to some. Could anything else come close to making you smile so much for only £1.82? I think not.

But I digress, let's have a closer look at my bionic baby...

Yes it is the perfect sandwich. Who needs Jammie Dodgers when you can have a Blakey sandwich.

What is fascinating is the way that the vertebrae have literally grown into the disc. David Harrison told me today that they coat the disc with a chemical that mimics bone cells, so all the real bone cells come and get together for a party on the surface of the disc. And they have so much fun that they decide to stick around and have lots of kids and the kids grow up and have lots more kids and before you know it you've got a whole new bone town. And I shall call it Harrisontown in honour of the great man.

So what did the great man have to say today? Well he told me that I was doing great. He said that complications if they happen are almost always in the first 6 weeks, so whilst I'm not out of the woods, I've stopped walking around in circles and I've found the path back to the car park. 

He even told me that I could be playing tennis this summer. Now that just blew my mind. I had given up all  hope of ever playing tennis again. Even the thought of getting on a court makes me smile like an idiot, but it also makes me feel just a little scared again. On day 2 I said that I used to walk around expecting something bad to happen. And occasionally I still get that feeling. Is this really too good to be true? Can I really be cured? 

Well David said that the disc is now part of me. Hopefully forever. He truly has rebuilt me.

And I don't know exactly what the future holds, but I'm going to get some Blakeys tomorrow and I'm going to put them on a pair of shoes and I'm not going to wear those shoes until I can run down the road and yell at the top of my voice "I am Steve Austin. I am the bionic man. And I'm wearing Blakeys so don't mess with me."

Sweet.